Helping ABCs/ABTs Navigate Bilingual Parenting ft. Sunny Horstmann: What ABCs Actually Need to Know | Real You Mandarin Podcast EP26

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When Sunny Horstmann and I sat down for this one, we got into the specific in-between space she grew up in. She was born in Taiwan and moved to the U.S. at age eight, which makes her a stuck-between-two-worlds kind of guest: a little too ABC/ABT for recent immigrants, and a little too "FOB-y" for actual American-born Mandarin speakers like me. (Also, what a throwback it is to hear "FOB: fresh off the boat" again, right?) This was our second time chatting, but the first time entirely in Chinese.

Sunny is the creator of the popular Instagram account @spotofsunshinechinese, where she shares advice and builds community for parents trying to pass Mandarin on to their kids. What I loved about this conversation is that her whole journey started from the same feeling that started mine.

Confident in Mandarin, still lost as a parent

Here's the part that surprised me. Sunny grew up genuinely bilingual. She immigrated in second grade already reading a lot of characters, and her mom brought over a stack of Chinese books. So it's not that she doubted her own Mandarin. It's that once she became a mom and wanted to raise her own kids in a bilingual environment, she felt completely 不知所措 / 不知所措 / bù zhī suǒ cuò / at a loss about how to actually do it.

For American-Born Chinese (ABCs) and American-Born Taiwanese (ABTs), this hits hard. We assume the hard part is the language itself. Sunny's story reframes it: knowing Mandarin and knowing how to teach Mandarin to a small child are two completely different skills.

The loneliness of doing it alone

At the time, Sunny was living in a small town in Minnesota, out in what she called 鳥不生蛋 / 鸟不生蛋 / niǎo bù shēng dàn / the middle of nowhere (literally, "a place where even birds don't lay eggs"). There was no Chinese school nearby, and in her friend circle she was the only Taiwanese person, the only one trying to teach her kids Mandarin at all. People around her would ask things like, "Why don't you just teach them English?"

So she felt 孤單 / 孤单 / gū dān / lonely. That isolation is exactly why she started her account: to encourage other parents like her, and to build the community she wished she'd had.

Building the curriculum that didn't exist

When Sunny started teaching her younger son Mandarin this year, she went looking for a complete kindergarten-style curriculum and couldn't find one. There's plenty for teaching kids to read and write Chinese, but not a full day-by-day program aimed at little ones. So she built it herself.

The result is Joyful Beginnings: a 31-week curriculum for ages three to six, about 20 minutes a day. Each week you read one Chinese book and introduce two characters, plus a little math, art, music, and culture, and not just the European and American art and music you find in most homeschool materials. It's modular too, so if your kid already does math at school, you can pull those cards out. One week is even built around emotions, using picture books and songs.

We got into how her materials and Real You Mandarin: Self-Expression actually complement each other. Sunny's curriculum gives your kids the foundation; ours bridges to the parenting side, helping you work through big feelings and explain why learning Mandarin is important...in Mandarin.

Key Vocab From This Episode

ChinesePinyinEnglish不知所措bù zhī suǒ cuòat a loss / not knowing what to do孤單 / 孤单gū dānlonely / alone鳥不生蛋 / 鸟不生蛋niǎo bù shēng dànthe middle of nowhere (idiom)

These are all words from the actual episode, not textbook vocabulary, but the kind of words that come up when you're talking about real life in Mandarin.

Want to teach your kids the emotional stuff too?

If teaching your kids Mandarin means walking them through big feelings and gentle-parenting moments, that's exactly the kind of thing we built Real You Mandarin: Self-Expression for. It's 5 modules, 43 video lessons, and 1300+ flashcards covering everything from expressing your emotions and navigating relationships to a whole module on Fertility & Parenting, including how to help a kid talk through a tantrum in Mandarin.

Not sure if it's for you yet? Try a free lesson first and learn more at realyoumandarin.com. No commitment, just a taste of what learning Mandarin can feel like when the content is actually relevant to your life.

Shoutout to Sunny, follow her at @spotofsunshinechinese and check out her Joyful Beginnings bilingual materials for kids ages 3-6.

Want the full transcript of this episode in Traditional Chinese, Simplified Chinese, Pinyin, and English with key vocab highlighted? Check out our Podcast Transcript Membership. Or download the free EP1 transcript to see what it's like.

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