Unique Challenges American-Born Mandarin Speakers Face When Speaking Mandarin

Were you born in the US (or generally outside of "The Motherland") but grew up speaking Mandarin in the house with your family? Do you say you're "fluent" but often feel at a loss for words when you're trying to express your opinion about real things, even to your parents? Yeah, me too.

Hi there, I'm Angela and I'm a second-generation Taiwanese-American who founded Real You Mandarin, which offers online Mandarin courses designed specifically to help us American-Born Chinese (ABCs) and American-Born Taiwanese (ABTs) express ourselves in Mandarin on real life topics in the same way we're able to in English.

I now offer two courses: Real You Mandarin: Self-Expression (our newest course, built around the most emotionally complex topics we navigate as ABCs and ABTs) and Real You Mandarin: Beginnings (our original course covering foundational real-life vocabulary).

Why did I create these courses? Well, let's lay out some of the common challenges a lot of us face. Let me know which ones you resonate with:

1. We grew up speaking Mandarin at home with our families, but what we actually speak is Chinglish - a mix of English and Chinese. I don't know about you, but my mom was super strict about speaking Mandarin when I was growing up, so we knew that if you wanted to talk to Mom, you had to do it in Mandarin. When I look back on that now as an adult, I'm actually really grateful for that rule because it meant that I grew up with a fairly strong speaking foundation.
   
   But when I really think closely about the Mandarin we spoke at home, the reality is that because we grew up in the west, what we actually ended up speaking was Chinglish - a mix of English and Chinese - where maybe you're mostly speaking in Mandarin but you throw in English words here and there for things you don't know how to say. And even though your parents may have been more comfortable engaging in Mandarin, because they also now lived in the west, they could more or less understand what you meant and the conversation just continued without any teaching moments on how you would have said that missing vocabulary in Mandarin, especially when it was about meatier, more "adult" conversations.

   
   

2. We were forced to go to Chinese School as kids, but it was only once a week so by the end of it, our reading and writing skills were at best the level of 3rd graders back in the motherland. I KNOW I'm not the only one who dreaded going to Chinese School. While all my friends got to just be kids and played on the weekends, I was stuck inside yet another classroom learning Chinese?! I hated it. And yet, again looking back on it now as an adult I'm grateful I went because hey, being able to read and write SOME Chinese is better than NONE, right? And on that note...

   
   

3. Even if we wanted to improve our Mandarin skills now, we simultaneously know too much and not enough to fit nicely into standard Mandarin language classes. Beginner classes? Give me a break. I don't need to learn pronunciation, tones, or how to say "I like apples." Intermediate and above? Okay, now it's getting dicey because I don't know enough Chinese characters, more formal grammar rules, or frankly anything non-conversational. Also, maybe more of a niche problem, but most Mandarin classes are taught in Simplified Chinese only, and I grew up learning Traditional Chinese. As an ABT, I don't easily recognize Simplified characters even if I know the corresponding Traditional character. It just doesn't "click" for me like it does for native speakers.

   
   

4. We always had our hands held whenever we visited the motherland because we'd go back with our families, so we never had to plan our trips, order for ourselves, or act as functioning adults using Mandarin. When's the last time you were the one who called a restaurant in Mandarin to make a dinner reservation, booked a doctor's appointment, or even bought your own train tickets? I never had to handle any logistics when I went back to Taiwan all the way up through high school because my family would always step in to take care of it. It was only recently in the past few years when I started visiting as an adult - without my parents - that I realized I had so much I didn't know how to say in Mandarin. I had so many clunky interactions even during "easy" interactions like with the 7-Eleven employees, and I finally realized how big the gap was between the Mandarin I thought I knew and the Mandarin I actually needed to function like my true self in the same way I'm able to with English.

   
   

5. Standard Mandarin learning resources are geared towards helping you sound like a native (of the motherland), but what about when we want to talk about things that are specific to growing up in the west, like media representation or mental health? If you grew up in the west to parents from the east, I know you've experienced culture clashes on so many different levels in your life. Because at the end of the day, language is not just made up of words - culture is inherently baked into language as well. So when we're trying to express to our families that we want to find meaning and passion in our work even if it doesn't command the highest salaries, or when we want to share how supported we feel going to therapy to maintain our mental health, we're often at a loss for words trying to talk about these things and the conversation may quickly end in frustration because we're not able to convey what we actually think.
   

6. So What Can We Actually Do About It?

   Honestly, for a long time I didn't do anything. I just accepted that this was my Mandarin, this was my ceiling, and that was that. But the more I sat with that feeling, the more it bothered me... because I knew there was so much more I wanted to say. I just didn't have the words for it.

   That's actually what pushed me to build Real You Mandarin. Not as a formally trained language teacher, but as someone who felt that gap deeply and wanted to close it.

   The key insight I kept coming back to: the problem isn't that we're bad at Mandarin. The problem is that nobody ever taught us the specific vocabulary we needed for the conversations that actually matter to us. The vocabulary for talking about mental health, setting boundaries with family, navigating cross-cultural relationships, or explaining to your parents why you're not taking the highest-paying job offer. That vocabulary gap is real, and it's not your fault.

   The good news is that it's also very fixable — because unlike a complete beginner, you already have the speaking foundation. You just need to fill in the right gaps.

   
   

Does that sound like you? If so, I'd encourage you to check out Real You Mandarin: Self-Expression — our newest course, co-created with Crystal Hsia, a Mandarin teacher from Taiwan, specifically for ABCs and ABTs who want to express themselves on the topics that actually matter: relationships, identity, ambition, family dynamics, and more.

If you want to start with the broader vocabulary foundation first, Real You Mandarin: Beginnings covers the full range of real-life conversational topics we missed growing up.

Both courses are self-paced, fully online, and built for people exactly like us. Preview a free lesson, see if it's the right fit, and if it is, join and unlock everything instantly. Let's close that gap together.